


More Than Words

by McKay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 02:51:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10958133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McKay/pseuds/McKay
Summary: Severus finds an alternate means of expressing his affection.





	More Than Words

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2004.

Severus liked the day following the night of a full moon. It was not something he had ever admitted to Remus, but it was true nonetheless, and he liked it because Remus spent most of the day asleep. 

It wasn't because Remus was out of the way, or that he had the day mostly to himself, or any reason due to privacy and solitude and silence reigning in their cottage. Remus always gave him plenty of private time, because Remus needed it himself, and even when he was awake, he wasn't noisy, bombarding Severus with chatter. They had, in fact, spent entire afternoons in the same room without saying a single word to one another because they were both engrossed in a book, and neither of them thought there was anything odd about it. 

But the day following a transformation was always different. Severus felt the absence of Remus' presence in their little parlor keenly; they might not speak, but Remus was _there_ , and if Severus wanted to put his book aside and wander over to Remus' chair to see if he might be persuaded to indulge in a snog which might very well lead to a shag on the couch or the floor if they couldn't bother taking the time to go upstairs, then he could. Eventually, this had led him to sit in the bedroom for an hour or so while Remus slept, and then he had moved from sitting in a nearby chair to sitting on the bed. From that point, touching was inevitable. 

It began when he realized how deeply asleep Remus was. Post-transformation slumber was, apparently, different from normal slumber. At any other time, Remus was not a light sleeper, but he could be woken easily enough. When he was sleeping off a transformation, however, Severus wondered if Remus could be awakened by a chorus of bagpipe players at top volume. 

Which meant that a few little touches wouldn't disturb his healing rest. 

It wasn't that Severus didn't touch Remus when they were both awake. They had a very healthy, active sex life, and Severus enjoyed touching Remus while they were making love. Outside of bed, Remus was casually affectionate towards Severus all the time -- caressing Severus' shoulder as he passed by, stroking his arm or leaning against him as they stood near each other, brushing swift kisses on his cheek or lips -- and Severus didn't mind at all. He had been touch-starved for years without even knowing it, and now that touch was readily available to him, he drank it up greedily. 

He was not, however, quite so comfortable with bestowing touches himself. It had taken weeks for him to stop being surprised and a little thrown off-guard when Remus touched him, months to stop noticing every single time Remus touched him and accept it as a normal and natural occurrence. He had never quite felt comfortable returning the affection, but Remus seemed to understand that, and as long as Severus let him touch, Remus seemed satisfied. 

Severus didn't know exactly why he was so uncomfortable with touching. He supposed it had something to do with fear of rejection, which his rational mind knew was ridiculous. Remus had seen him at his petty and spiteful worst and fell in love with him anyway. Still, Severus found it difficult -- almost impossible -- to make himself vulnerable outside of their love-making, which was the only time he ever allowed himself to be naked in every sense of the word with Remus. He always bottomed, not because Remus asked it of him, but because giving himself was a highly significant gesture to him. It was the only way he could bring himself to say, "I love you".

Sometimes, he wondered if Remus knew what he was trying to express and why he never wanted to top, or if Remus chalked it up to his preferences. He wondered if Remus knew how deeply he cared, or if one day, Remus would grow tired of the silence and leave him for someone who knew how to speak. Sometimes, he tried to say the words, but they stuck in his throat and refused to come out, and so he coaxed Remus into bed where he moaned, cried out, and sometimes screamed instead. 

But on the day after the night of the full moon, Severus could touch safely because Remus was asleep, and on those days, Severus made up for what he couldn't bring himself to do during the rest of the month. 

Undressing quickly, he slipped beneath the covers and stretched out on his side, taking a moment simply to look, as he always did. Relaxed in sleep, Remus' face appeared younger, belying the grey in his hair that was becoming more predominant every year, and his mouth was curved slightly, as if his dreams were pleasant ones. Severus reached out and trailed his forefinger along the soft swell of Remus' bottom lip, tracing the faint smile, and then he bent his head and nuzzled the downy hair at Remus' temple where a silver streak was forming. 

With light, gentle strokes of his fingers, he caressed Remus' face as if memorizing it through touch, marveling anew at the delicacy of the skin around Remus' eyes and the pleasant burn on his finger pads from the rasp of beard stubble. He traced the outline of one ear and trailed one finger down the length of Remus' throat, detouring to stroke his collarbones. Unable to resist the temptation, he dipped his tongue into the hollow at the base of Remus' throat and the little indentations above each collarbone, savoring the warm, slightly salty taste of Remus' skin. 

Lifting his head again, he let his hand hover over the blankets for a moment as he debated. Remus was naked beneath the sheets; he never bothered pulling on his pajamas after he changed back into human form. Neither of them saw the point in that when he was exhausted, and Severus was quite familiar with the sight already. All Severus had to do was push the blankets lower, and he could see and touch more. 

He'd always stopped short of that before, breaking off his explorations to nestle against Remus' side and let himself drift off. The first time it happened, Remus had smiled sleepily and said that he liked waking up to find Severus curled up with him, and Severus had lost his reticence about remaining after that. 

Now, however, he wanted more. Slowly, carefully, he eased the covers down to Remus' waist, watching Remus closely for any sign of waking, but Remus only gave a little sigh and a slight wriggle towards Severus, as if seeking Severus' warmth in place of the blankets. Severus ran his flattened palm down Remus' chest and then back up, watching the progress of his hand as he did. Remus' skin was pale, the dark, wiry hair on his chest and stomach standing out in stark contrast. Severus combed his fingers gently through the thick nest of chest hair, careful to avoid Remus' nipples; they were flat now, and he knew exactly what to do to make them stand up, hard and erect, but he didn't want to risk waking Remus by playing with them, tempting though they were. 

Instead, he bent his head and rubbed his cheek against Remus' chest, feeling the scrape of coarse hair on his cheek, and then he rested there for a moment, listening to the steady beat of Remus' heart. Releasing a quiet sigh, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting his senses be filled with Remus, and before he was fully conscious of the decision, he found himself brushing his mouth all over Remus' chest and down to his stomach, kissing and darting his tongue out for the occasional lick as he skimmed one hand up and down along Remus' side. 

The covers were in his way again, and he shoved them down, not carefully or slowly this time, moaning softly as he dragged his tongue along Remus' hipbone; he could feel Remus beginning to shift restlessly beneath him, and he knew it might be a sign that Remus was on the verge of waking, but he didn't care. Remus' thigh was _right there_ , begging to be licked and nibbled, and he didn't even try to resist the urge. 

Nudging Remus' legs apart, he settled between them and hooked his hand beneath Remus' right knee, bending it up so that he could feast on Remus' inner thigh, biting and sucking by the time he reached the top. A glance showed him that Remus' cock wasn't the only thing stirring. Although his eyes were closed and his body was still relaxed in sleep, Remus was no longer lying still; a tiny frown line had formed between his eyebrows, and he flung out one arm towards Severus' usual side of the bed, his hand curling slightly as if searching for something. 

If he backed off now, Severus knew that Remus wouldn't wake, and he would likely chalk it up to a dream, perhaps one more vivid than usual. If he didn't stop, Remus would wake up, and there would probably be questions, and maybe Remus would confront him about all the things that hung between them, unspoken and perhaps not as understood as Severus hoped they were. Remus might ask him to say things, and Severus didn't know if he could, or what he would say if Remus asked him to try. 

But he didn't stop. 

Cupping Remus' balls in one hand, he kneaded them gently as he curled his fingers around the base of Remus' cock and swirled his tongue around the tip, teasing the slit as he lapped up the leaking fluid. He drew the head into his mouth, sheathing Remus' cock as fully as he could, and wriggled his tongue against the underside as he moved his mouth up and down, and Remus moaned, his hips jerking slightly in response. As he sucked and lapped hungrily, Severus slid one hand up to tease Remus' nipple, and he felt Remus' chest hitch, felt the moment when Remus slid into languid wakefulness, nowhere near alert, but not asleep anymore either. 

"Severus?" Remus' voice was a sleepy, gravelly mumble, punctuated by a yawn. 

Severus didn't answer, preferring to keep his mouth where it was; instead, he moved his fingers lower to massage behind Remus' balls, and Remus moaned louder and spread his legs wider, his back arching as the pleasure-tension escalated. Severus sucked and licked eagerly, moaning when he felt Remus' body tighten, hovering on the edge of release, when he felt Remus' fingers plunge into his hair. And then Remus cried out hoarsely, his hips surging up, and Severus swallowed and lapped, not wanting to miss a single drop. 

Only when the aftershocks had faded and Remus had collapsed beneath him did Severus lift his mouth away, smugly pleased with himself as he crawled back up Remus' body. Remus' smile was warm and affectionate as he linked his arms around Severus' neck, holding Severus on top of him, cradling Severus between his thighs. 

"I could get used to that kind of wake-up call," he murmured, his voice deep and husky, and Severus wanted to lick his throat. 

"You should go back to sleep," he said instead, trying to pull away, but Remus tightened his hold and wouldn't let him. 

"Not just yet." 

He slid one hand into Severus' hair and rested it on the back of his head, drawing him down into a kiss, parting his lips for Severus and coaxing Severus' tongue into his mouth. Severus moaned as he began to explore, stroking Remus' tongue with his own, savoring the taste of him. His own neglected arousal was rekindling, and Remus wasn't helping, rocking his hips against Severus' suggestively as he fisted his hand in Severus' hair, stroking Severus' back tenderly from shoulder to hip with the other as the kiss continued long and slow and deep. 

When they finally broke apart, Remus' eyes were dilated and glittering with desire, his lips wet and reddened, and he was panting slightly as he gazed up at Severus with fierce intensity. "Take your pleasure in me," he whispered. 

Severus froze, stunned by the request. Remus had never asked that of him before, had never indicated that he wanted to be taken, and now Severus wondered if perhaps he had, but had never asked because Severus had never given him the chance. Had he been neglecting Remus' needs and desires? Did Remus think he was selfish for always making Remus top? Had he been trying so hard to send one message that he communicated something else entirely? 

"Severus. Stop thinking and just fuck me." 

Groping on the bedside table, he curled his fingers around his wand and tapped Remus' hip, murmuring the same preparation spells that Remus had used on him countless times. Tossing his wand aside again, he positioned himself, and Remus braced his feet on the bed so he could lift his hips, moaning as Severus pushed just inside him. Severus bit his lip as he eased in, going slowly, not wanting to hurt Remus, but Remus' body felt so perfect sheathing him, and he wanted to drive himself into that tight heat, claiming it as his own. 

Once he was fully buried within Remus, he held still and gazed down at Remus, who reached up to caress his cheek, watching him with an unguarded look of pleasure and affection in his eyes; he moaned as Severus began to thrust deep, moving to meet each thrust, grinding his hips against Severus' as if unable to get him deep enough. Remus closed his eyes, his head tossing on the pillow as he clutched Severus' back and rocked with him, matching him thrust for thrust; his body was relaxed, yielding and open to Severus completely. 

Severus stared at him, scarcely able to believe how gorgeous and sexy it was to see Remus like that, sprawled so eager and wanton beneath him, head thrown back, utterly vulnerable, chanting "yes yes yes" with each thrust. It filled Severus with a sense of power and satisfaction, not to mention a lust sharper and keener than any he could remember feeling before, knowing he was desired so deeply, knowing that he was giving such pleasure to the man he loved. 

With a fierce growl, he drove into Remus' pliant body harder, claiming him with rough, demanding thrusts, reveling in the louder, more desperate moans and cries each slamming thrust elicited. There was a little niggle in the back of his mind, reminding him that this scenario was somehow familiar, but he couldn't quite place it -- until Remus reached up and fisted his hand in Severus' hair, pulling him down and biting hungrily at his lips. 

Just as Severus often did to Remus right before he came. 

He gasped, hovering on the verge of release, and he only had enough time for one last coherent thought -- _This must be how Remus always feels_ \-- before he toppled and fell, burying himself deep and crying out Remus' name as he came. He held himself over Remus for a moment, panting, and then eased out carefully before rolling off him and collapsed next to him. Immediately, Remus rolled onto his side and snuggled close to Severus, using his shoulder as a pillow. 

Smiling, he reached out and stroked Severus' chest gently. "You see?" His voice was soft with a faint undercurrent of amusement. 

"See what?" 

"I love you too."


End file.
